Islam's response to contemporary world problems (23)

Responsibility for the care of the elderly is gradually shifting to the state. Elderly care represents a heavy burden on the national economy of each country. No matter how much the state is willing to spend, it will never be able to provide them with peace and contentment. The terrible feeling of having been rejected, marginalised and abandoned, and the painful awareness of an inner emptiness of growing loneliness, are problems whose resolution is beyond the reach of most. The idea that a relatively distant relative could be cared for by the rest of the family has become almost impossible to imagine.

In these societies, the need for homes for the elderly grows with the passage of time. Sometimes it is not possible for governments to provide enough money to provide them with even the minimum requirements of a decent life. Physical ailments are easier to alleviate or cure, but the deep psychological traumas suffered by a large number of elderly members of modern societies are much more difficult to treat.

In Muslim-majority countries, although many values have deteriorated, a situation similar to that prevailing in the rest of contemporary societies is unthinkable. There it would be considered a disgrace and dishonour to treat an elderly person with similar lack of respect and sensitivity. It would be a matter of great shame for most Muslims to hand over the responsibilities of caring for elderly relatives to the state, however much the state might be willing to assume them.

Thus, a Muslim woman's role between her home and her family is far from ending with the growth of children; she remains deeply attached, both to the past and to the future. Her humane and caring concern, and her innate ability to care for those in need of help, comes to the rescue of the elderly members of society. They remain as valuable and respected as before and continue to be integral members of the family. The mother plays a major role in their care, offering her companionship, not as monotonous and tedious work, but as a natural living expression of human familiarity. Thus, when she grows old, she is assured that her society will not evict her or abandon her as a relic of the past.

Of course there are exceptions in every society, and there are ancient relics of the past that are considered boring burdens by some Muslim families living under the influence of "modern trends". But, on the whole, Muslim societies are virtually free of homes for abandoned parents, unlike in other societies.

This brings to mind a joke that may make some laugh while making others cry. A child once watched with pain and disquiet as his grandfather was mistreated by his father. The grandfather was gradually moved from a well-appointed and comfortable bedroom to a smaller and more uncomfortable one, until finally, it was decided to house the grandfather in the servants' quarters. During one exceptionally harsh winter, grandfather complained that his room was freezing cold and that his blanket was so thin that it failed to keep him warm. The father started looking for another blanket in the middle of a cupboard full of old and useless rags. As he watched him, the boy turned to the father and said, "Please don't give all the rags to grandfather. Keep some for me so I can give them to you later, when you get old".

In this innocent expression of the child's displeasure is concentrated all the agony of the older generation in modern times.

In Muslim societies, it is as rare to find such exceptions, as it is extraordinary, and is becoming increasingly rare, to find exceptions in modern societies, in the treatment of the elderly by their relatives. Muslims are taught:

وَقَضٰی رَبُّکَ اَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۡۤا اِلَّاۤ اِیَّاہُ وَبِالۡوَالِدَیۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا ؕ اِمَّا یَبۡلُغَنَّ عِنۡدَکَ الۡکِبَرَ اَحَدُہُمَاۤ اَوۡ کِلٰہُمَا فَلَا تَقُلۡ لَّہُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّلَا تَنۡہَرۡہُمَا وَقُلۡ لَّہُمَا قَوۡلًا کَرِیۡمًا ﴿۲۴﴾ وَاخۡفِضۡ لَہُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحۡمَۃِ وَقُلۡ رَّبِّ ارۡحَمۡہُمَا کَمَا رَبَّیٰنِیۡ صَغِیۡرًا

"Your Lord has commanded: "Worship none but Him, and show kindness to your parents. If one or both of them attain old age with you, never say to them any word expressing displeasure or reproach, but address them respectfully. And bring down upon them the wing of humility and tenderness. Say: 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they brought me up in my childhood'" (Ch. 17: Bani-Israel: 24-25).

These verses are the most significant on this subject. After the Unity of God, human beings should, through their attitude of love, affection and kindness, give priority to their parents, who have reached an advanced and difficult age, above all things.

Furthermore, the verse speaks of situations in which the behaviour of one or both parents is distressing, or sometimes even offensive. In response, even a mild expression of displeasure or disapproval is not allowed to pass one's lips. On the contrary, they must continue to be treated with deep respect.

The insistence on achieving the best relationship between one generation and the slowly fading generation ensures that there are no generational gaps. Such gaps always interrupt the transmission of traditional moral values.

Islamic social philosophy, therefore, teaches that no generation should allow a gap to arise between it and the outgoing generation, nor between it and the future generation. Generational gaps are totally alien to Islam.

As discussed earlier, the Islamic concept of family is not limited to the members of a single household. The following verse instructs Muslims to spend not only on their parents, but also among their relatives and friends, who are mentioned after the parents in order of preference, so as not to injure their sense of dignity and to promote mutual love.

وَاعۡبُدُوا اللّٰہَ وَلَا تُشۡرِکُوۡا بِہٖ شَیۡئًا وَّبِالۡوَالِدَیۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا وَّبِذِی الۡقُرۡبٰی وَالۡیَتٰمٰی وَالۡمَسٰکِیۡنِ وَالۡجَارِ ذِی الۡقُرۡبٰی وَالۡجَارِ الۡجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالۡجَنۡۢبِ وَابۡنِ السَّبِیۡلِ ۙ وَمَا مَلَکَتۡ اَیۡمَانُکُمۡ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰہَ لَا یُحِبُّ مَنۡ کَانَ مُخۡتَالًا فَخُوۡرَا 

“And worship Al'lah and do not associate anything with Him, and show kindness to parents, to relatives, to orphans and the needy, to your kindred neighbour and to the stranger, to the companion beside you, to the traveller and to those who are under your authority. Verily, Al'lah loves not the proud nor the boastful." (Q. 4: Al-Nisa: 37)

The Holy Quran states that you should be careful to show kindness to your parents.

If contemporary society were to learn the lesson of these commandments, many of the problems it faces today, which represent a blemish on an advanced society, would cease to exist. There would be no need for nursing homes or homes for the aged, except for those elderly people who, unfortunately, do not have a close relative to care for them. In an Islamic society, the love between parents and children is so repeatedly insisted upon that it is impossible for a child to abandon his parents when they reach old age, for his own pleasure.

(To be continued in the next instalment, number 24)