Opinion

The pardon and free accommodation for everyone

photo_camera The performance offered to the public by the 'Spanish matador and his cuadrilla' for the benefit of the pro-independence criminals convicted by the Spanish Supreme Court will place Spain at the top of the world leadership.

We must pay no heed to the doom-mongers. Those who take a stand against the laudable initiative to grant pardon to those convicted by the Spanish Supreme Court for crimes of sedition and embezzlement of public funds do so out of pure envy. 

They cannot even understand that excellent and successful political and economic measures implemented since June 2018 are the most sensible way for Spaniards to live in prosperity and happiness for the next years, decades, even centuries, I would dare to say. They even allow themselves to doubt such immeasurable benefits as the rise in electricity tariffs and the manu militari actions aimed at curbing COVID-19.

What can we do if the vast majority of Spanish citizens also lack foresight and long-term vision of the President, who does predict what is going to happen over the next 30 years, as evidenced by the document entitled Spain 2050. Published less than 20 days ago, it has had such a global impact that it is causing the collapse and bankruptcy of many of the world's most prestigious think tanks.

La medida de gracia se aplicará previo acuerdo del Consejo de Ministros, cuyos miembros han sido elegidos por su alta capacidad de gestión, como es bien sabido

Members of the government and advisors enjoy such a high level of prospective analysis as to be a kind of reincarnation of the Pillars of Hercules that form part of Spain's coat of arms, the heraldic symbol that appears on the national flag. The president, the four vice-presidents and the battalion of ministers should consider adding the words Plus Ultra to the bottom of their signatures on official documents.

However, the truth is that the miscreants who openly oppose the infinite magnanimity that has been installed in the heart and head of the government are immersed in the depths of error. The exceptional measures that the Executive is prepared to apply for the benefit of the pro-independence criminals condemned by the Supreme Court will have such worldwide repercussions that they will turn the 23 members of the Council of Ministers into firm candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize, as well as placing them among the top political figures on Earth and even in the Solar System.

Las medidas excepcionales que el Ejecutivo quiere aplicar en beneficio de los delincuentes independentistas condenados por el Tribunal Supremo convertirán a los 23 integrantes del Consejo de Ministros en firmes candidatos al Premio Nobel de la Paz
Chatting up to Barack Obama

Norway's jury for one of the most prestigious international awards is currently refurbishing its facilities to receive the millions of letters and e-mails expected to support the candidacy of the Spanish Council of Ministers. Much of the documentation that will arrive in Oslo will apparently be accompanied by the excellent biographies of the four vice-presidents of the government and the 18 ministers who, as is well known, were chosen by the president for their outstanding leadership and management skills, leaving Amancio Ortega, Juan Roig and Alicia Koplowitz, to cite three examples of successful Spanish entrepreneurs, in the dust.

Without detracting from its possible competitors, I have no doubt that Spain's Council of Ministers is the most deserving of a collective and extraordinary Nobel Peace Prize. Should it win, it will place its laureates on the same scale of global recognition enjoyed by former US President Barack Obama, who was the 2009 winner and to whom any of the laureates will be able to speak as an equal after the Nobel Prize award ceremony by the King of Sweden, King Carl Gustaf.

However, I shall now move on to the crux of the matter that is causing so much concern. As some members of the Council of Ministers feel, it would be unreasonable to grant a pardon - or a similar measure - to those men and women who have suffered unspeakably for promoting harmony among all Spaniards. I am referring to those convicted of encouraging the Catalan independence process and others who are under indictment.

La magnanimidad solicitada por el presidente Aragonés se resume en pasar página a los condenados, en que el señor Oriol Junqueras tome asiento en la mesa Madrid-Barcelona y en la rebaja o despenalización del delito de sedición

At first glance, it seems sufficient that, in addition to the presumable pardon or amnesty, Mr Oriol Junqueras has been given the grace to sit - in a chair or armchair in keeping with his size, of course - at the dialogue table agreed with the new president of the Autonomous Government of Catalonia. Mr Aragonés' kind suggestion has been gladly accepted at the Moncloa Palace.

In addition to the repeated declarations of "we will do it again" by the convicts and defendants, several members of the government have proclaimed that they are going to promote the downward modification of the crime of sedition in the Penal Code and, probably, also that of rebellion. This is a truly commendable detail, very much to be taken into account in case "they make a mess of things again".

La medida de gracia debería ir acompañada con un piso, un poquito más amplio y cómodo que el elegido por los pistoleros de ETA para mantener secuestrado a José Antonio Ortega Lara durante 532 días
A proper flat

The magnanimity of Spain's Council of Ministers is such that, for the time being, it can be summed up in three decisions: granting a pardon or something similar; accommodating Mr. Oriol Junqueras at a theatrical table of dialogue-negotiation between the Spanish Government and the Autonomous Government of Catalonia; and the reduction or decriminalisation of sedition. All this without any quid pro quo. Some consider this to be something foolish. Others see it as an example of "Christian charity".

However, in my view, all of the above is clearly not enough. I would suggest that the measures being considered to alleviate the immense suffering of the Catalan pro-independence supporters who have been tried and sentenced should be accompanied by granting them "a flat". That is, "setting the mistress up in an apartment". A decision that the hundreds of advisors who receive their paychecks from Moncloa have not taken into account in their reports.

We already know that the handing over of a flat is not as buoyant as the launching of a luxury yacht, a complement to the pardon that a few have suggested to me as a more suitable gift. But it would be a flat that in some way could compensate for the scant dimensions of the cells in which they have been locked up, like monks in the Middle Ages. Cells that are clearly unfit for those who have sacrificed themselves for the good of humanity.

A las reiteradas declaraciones de “lo volveremos a hacer” por parte de los penados y encausados, diversos cargos del Gobierno responden con la modificación a la baja del delito de sedición que recoge el Código Penal, todo un detalle digno de encomio

Handling them a flat would be the icing on the cake of the announced and foreseeable agreement of the Council of Ministers. Of course, it is obvious that such a decision would in no case be taken with the sole idea of maintaining the parliamentary support of the pro-independence or anti-establishment parties that back the government. On the other hand, it would be a gesture that the pardoned prisoners would undoubtedly be grateful for with exultant cheers for Spain, in a clear show of respect and affection, especially since the Spanish government is not seeking palpable compensation, or at least has not made it public. 

You will agree with me that they deserve to have the flat located in a central neighbourhood, in Barcelona of course, or wherever each of them deems appropriate. If anyone suggests it, the Council of Ministers should have no objection if instead of a flat it is a spacious ground floor, residence or villa, in a high-class residential area or urbanisation.

The flats should be spacious, bright, around 300 square metres, with at least six bedrooms and their respective bathrooms, terrace, garden, reception room, dining room for at least 20 people, staff quarters and ironing room. And of course, a swimming pool, climatized if possible. In other words, a space a little more spacious and comfortable - but only a little more - than the one chosen by the ETA gunmen to hold José Antonio Ortega Lara hostage for 532 days.

And one last detail. The handing over of the keys should be accompanied by a Legion Company with Band and Music in front of the doorway, to the beat of "Las Corsarias" and its well-known pasodoble "Banderita", thus making each and every beneficiary eternally grateful to the Spanish Government. By the way, don't forget to count on the presence of the goat. They will even shed tears of emotion.